you all are the best. (day 16 of 30)

i was so blessed by the overwhelming love you showered on my last post. many heartfelt thanks. i really mean it: you all are the best. i thank God for you.

i thought perhaps you'd like an update.

i wrote that post last tuesday (after, i might add, a week of struggling with those thoughts/feelings).

on wednesday, i took some proactive steps at work (read: met with a parent and the director to address an issue). i came home to your lovely comments. i was encouraged.

on thursday, the work situation (which should have improved) worsened. it started to sink in that the problem wasn't me or my lack of experience. things had much deeper roots - roots into the management and the fundamental ways that they run things. i talked to other more experienced teachers at the center on thursday and they confirmed it: the situation is stressful, unfavorable, void of respect and support. not to mention in a mess of transition that's been going on for months with no end in sight. given my other circumstances (a long commute, no health benefits, etc), just not worth the excessive strain for me.

on friday, i resigned and worked my last day. in a fit of providential timing, i ended up resigning just hours before the center director (who works under the organization director...which is where a lot of the problems are rooted) resigned herself. if i had waited or stayed, i would have been caught in an even huger mess. praise God.

so i'm back to square one here. the weekend featured massive relief. this morning - the first of not working - i am sorting through other inklings. i don't know what's next. God has a plan. etc.

when i said i was entering a bit of limbo, i didn't think it would be this big. sometimes God has to make big moves to get through my stubborn head. nevertheless, the ride continues. do you like roller coasters? :D