randomness.

click this link, then click "tumblebooks" in the center of the page, then click the red "story books" bubble. you will get a whole list of books...choose the H-I page and scroll down to I Have to Go! and click the book cover to listen to one of my kindergarteners' favorite stories. and guess what my internal dialogue is now whenever i need to use the restroom. (sorry, i know that's a lot of directions but a direct link doesn't work.)

in lieu of a really high-tech dslr camera (which would cost 5 times as much), wouldn't this be a fun new toy? when i was little and on a camping trip with my family, i made friends with an older lady in the bathroom and she took my picture with a (real) polaroid camera. i remember holding the brown photo in my hands and seeing myself appear. the thought of instant prints holds amazing charm.

i'm finishing my resume today. applying to two of my top job picks in this coming week. sitting in a mock interview on tuesday (at college, part of my senior seminar). will you pray for blessing on my applications and that i will continue to trust? i know God has the perfect place for me.

that's my shopping buddy up there. last weekend i needed a whole outfit to wear for interviews (see above) and she and God helped it happen in one day. and it was fun. win-win. (thanks, kt!)

i'll think of more later, but that's all for now. love you guys.

i kind of have a thing for ranunculus.

it's too bad ranunculus doesn't have a thing for the south.

1. Ranunculus, 2. Ranunculus on Green, 3. Ranunculus, 4. ranunculus, 5. i can't stop, 6. overlapping issues, 7. Untitled, 8. layers, 9. good morning friends

**disclaimer: these aren't my pics. since i have never actually seen a ranunculus in person, i have to enjoy them vicariously...hence the links above with photo credits. :) enjoy!

today...

i took the dog out to do her business at 7:30 pm and heard peepers in the trees. spring is slowly showing her head.

that is all.

today...

i sat in a teacher's meeting (learning how to let data drive instruction) and when i caught myself freely interacting with the other teachers, instructors, and principals i realized that i was not measuring myself at all in the situation - not mentally figuring how much of myself to present or where to fit in but just freely sharing myself. this made me give myself a quiet little smile. (what can i say...the introverts/observant types will understand.)

that is all.

today...

the kindergarten students learned that it can be both sunny and cold at the same time. i'm not sure whether to thank the balmy south for perpetuating this misconception...or the weather graph for clearing it up.

that is all.

present.

today, His Presence found me again in such a concrete way. i think He smiles gently at my surprise at what He does in my everyday - my reaction is to call Him a show-off but i know how much more He can do.

that is all.

weekend edition.

today, i got up at 4:30 am to make it to my "midterm" which consisted of sitting behind a pamphlet table for 5 hours...later, i avoided homework by hand-sewing six pieces of knit fabric into two pieces. (i promise a picture upon completion.) it made me feel like laura ingalls wilder to sew clothing by hand...except that she had probably never heard of cotton jersey.

that is all.

and again.

today, i screen captured about 150 different math activity sheets while the students were out at recess. the 4 kindergarten classes at "my" school can thank me for their new library of smartboard resources. smartboard. not a chalkboard, not even a whiteboard. smartboard. (also, my educational technology professor would be glad to know that his label of my generation as the one that would be able to enter the classroom and decipher/utilize the "cutting edge" resources in technology...was correct.)

that is all.

just one thing.

today, i had to be at school early (umm...early-er) for "vertical planning." teachers meeting with the principal to talk about how to meet standards like global awareness. yup.

but i got to see the sunrise this morning because of it. that was the very bright side.

that is all.

let's make this easier.

today, i picked up prints of some photos at walmart after kindergarten and i cut them out and put them in baseball card holders and now the sheet is open on my desk, a little grid of pretty.

that is all.

a story of sleep and life.

i lie half awake in the cool darkness, hoping that by keeping my eyelids sealed shut i will fool my body with a few more minutes of sleep before my clock starts beeping.

it might be a defense mechanism, my subconscious aware that morning is near and that i'd-better-not-be-late.

i'd rather see it as a small mark of grace, an easing into the day without the harsh tones of my alarm breaking into deep dreams. it has always been one of my favorite times--that gray space between sleep and not-quite-waking. it is quiet there, where all i know is my breath and the stillness of the world around me.

i'm not sure if my love of it over-rides the innate desire for just a few more minutes.

i've been thinking a lot about transitions lately, of acknowledging them, easing them. of the leaving behind and the inviting in.

this tiny picture of it at the start of my day--this small space between dreaming and beginning--brings the reminder that the transition doesn't always play out like a drama. sometimes it simply the slipping of dusk into dawn, the stream into its river.

and courage doesn't always roar. sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "i will do it again tomorrow." (paraphrased from mary anne radmacher)

doodles.

a little mindless doodling is sometimes just the ticket. this is a great art medium when you want something quick. go play a bit. :)

just a little story.

it happened today. i went out into the world...met dozens of people, some of them actually grown...i was held all day in the bosom of a completely unfamiliar situation...and yet it felt almost as natural as breathing.

i keep catching myself releasing these great breaths of relief. after a school year that has seemed just so hard, this day makes me want to grin.

there's not any one amazing piece. (except God.)

after lunch, when i'd been watching for a few hours and started interacting more with the class, those kindergarteners got all wide-eyed. "how do you know my name?" i heard over and over. ummm...because i listen and watch and remember. and because each of the twenty is so unique and (something i never could truly say even at the end of my experience in preschool) completely captivating to me.

but i just told the kids, with a teasing little look, "because i'm smart." you know, building a reputation.

so there are the kids, and the fact that i really do totally love them after being so taken aback in preschool. and there is the school community. and there is God, with me.

too bad i have to wait two and a half weeks to go back? (not really. i have to do a lot of other classwork before then. but oh, does this add some positive incentive.)

bits & pieces.

yesterday i walked about twenty feet off of our driveway to the edge of the woods and laid in one spot taking pictures - first on my stomach, and then on my back. sometimes i think limiting the scope of my view by staying in one place makes me see more vividly and find more meaningful details among the random bits and pieces.

my life is all bits and pieces at the moment. i'm still working on finding the important details. :)

i have student teaching coming up, and then job applications and interviews after that, and then life as a working girl. for now, though, all these things are still in the distance. i can do a few things in preparation, but mostly i just have to wait until the time comes.

"so do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own."

i'm limiting my view here. staying in the now, holding on to just the pieces that belong to today. there really aren't many, compared to what will be. but for today, this is enough.

a friend here, a bibliographical list of children's literature there. listening to the stories of those around me. telling my own. sharing, working alongside my family. sending an email, searching a database.

letting the other bits rest. finding beauty in the pieces that are now.

{p.s. this set of pictures, especially this one, is really making me want to bake and - more to the point - ice a cake. and for a thanks-very-much-but-i'd-rather-have-pie girl, that's saying something. just a little more specific bit of random for you. xo}

the art.

a few days ago i sat in front of a fire and did art with a friend and i realized...i have come to express myself freely this way. i have gotten past doing it the "right" way and making it look the way even i expect it to, and it flows now as a natural extension of me into acrylic or watercolor or fabric or even cut paper snowflakes or medallions. when i sanded a piece of scrap wood from the garage smooth a few weeks ago and added a yellow background and the abstract that grew from my vision of a bouquet of ranunculus, twisted in an eyelet and hung it on my wall all in about thirty minutes...and then stood back and just grinned at it foolishly...well, i knew i was in love.

the art is pieces of me.

wild sky::a silhouette.

josie + snow.

this one, she loves the cold and wet. silly dog. :)

first light.

and the winner is...

bekah!

congratulations, bekah! i'm sending you an email to see where i can send your note cards.

{to all the rest of you, i won't say that i didn't consider giving each of you one card since there actually ended up being enough to go around. but a promise is a promise. oooh, and katie, i would have included you if i'd seen your comment before i drew a name! i think i just missed you. :)}

a happy saturday to all.

giveaway reminder.

don't forget to head over to this post and comment for a chance to enjoy something special. :) i'll be picking a winner tonight at 10:00 pm. that's in 9 hours and 9 minutes, peeps. don't wait!

xoxo