in my eyes

the girl had been to kindergarten. first grade, maybe. it was probably her third day. A lady who looked like her grandmother swooped her off of the bus before she could even came down all the steps.

the girl filled her grandma's arms, but she was held tight. a bright smile filled her face as she cradled her grandmother's face in her tiny hands and spoke some word of delight and love.

it was only for a moment. the girl was soon set on the ground to walk up the drive hand-in-hand with her grandmother.

but that smile and those gently embracing hands froze time in my eyes.

{seen on my drive home from school}

Two Things {Happy}

}I went to Barnes & Noble today and bought myself a journal. I went for a ACT study book for my brother. I didn't go for a journal. And although I'd just been thinking about the act of conscious journalism, a book to physically write in (with pen and ink) was honestly the last thing on my mind. But there they were. The journals. And somehow, even though I've been recording my thoughts on an online journal for nine months now, they enticed me. I wanted to write on paper again, even though there were times before when that just didn't work for me. So I bought it. My "book" journal. (Which is different from my "blog" journal.) And I brought it home. And I wrote in it. And then it inspired me to write here.
And, it feels good. Like something that I thought I had lost (and had let go, and not struggled to get back), but now it's found again. It's a gift. Something I'm thanking God for.

}This is what I enjoyed last night. A comfy spot, a spellbinding book, a settling project, and yummy food. (Really, the reason I made this post about "happy things" was because I love this picture and wanted to share. :) Otherwise I would have just talked about my journal! But every time I see this I smile, and I wanted to try and share that smile with you. *hugs*)

That's my bit of {happy} for today! Now you go find your something happy. :)

A Day in Pictures

"This is the day which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalm 118:24, AMP

The Voice

There's this weird thing I've been noticing. You remember this post a while back where I talked about not being able to find my voice here on the blog? Now that I'm a little more settled here I've (kind of) realized what the deal was.

It's really easy on a blog (for me, at least) to put out the "me" that I want to be known as. And that "me" may not really be the true one but just the one I think will be most acceptable to others. As a result - if I write from an identity based on what I think others like or find respectable - that "voice" can get very forced. (Also, it doesn't come easily. Because it's not really mine.)

So. The breakthrough. It's one of those "things you've been taught all your life as a child in a Christian family." One of those things that takes on new dimension when it "clicks" in your heart. It's "the answer" to that all-consuming question Who am I?. (And, apparently, What on earth do *I* write about on a blog that's at all true to the concept of "myself"? Whatever that is.) The answer is, of course (recite after me), that our identity is found (and founded) in Christ. I think it sounds a little flat because we've heard it all our lives.

Here's a little bit of the new dimension, just as related to blog-land (and that, really, is just a tiny bit). If my identity is in Christ, then it doesn't matter who reads my blog or what they think of my words or really what *I* look like to them. If my identity is in Christ, then I don't have to worry about making *me* look good but about making *Him* look good (gulp). If my identity is in Christ, then I can rely on Him for words, beauty, and lessons. I can just pass on a tiny bit of what He gives to me.

Do you know how much freedom there is in that? It's pretty amazing, I tell you. No more worrying about what to say, or about the lack of words (Ideally, at least. I'm human here. I'm sure there will be days when I get full of myself and go off on my own. But we're being optimistic here, right?). And there's that peace of waiting for Him to speak and then knowing it is Right.

Like tonight. I had gotten halfway through saying something entirely different. (Running my own mouth.) It's gone now. Maybe that thought process will come back. Maybe the timing will be better then. Maybe, the words I wrote on my own are gone forever (I'm sure the world will end without them. *cough*).

I am His. This blog is His. Hopefully, most of the story told here will be from Him. And I can rest in that voice, knowing that anything good that shows up here is not my own doing. Boy, does that feel wonderful.

Big Brother

I don't really know what to say about this guy except that we love him. We'll miss him. And we can't wait for Christmas when he promised to come celebrate with us.

We sent him off to explore the country with hugs, cookies, and a quilt I gave him for his birthday this past Monday.

It's just a big piece of plaid flannel with a black cotton strip added at the bottom for contrast. Quilted in random lengthwise lines. It's big enough to wrap up in but small (and thin) enough to not be bulky. And hopefully it will remind him of how much he is loved.

He will always be my precious big brother.

What He Has Given

I stumbled across this wordle this morning (click the picture to see it bigger and read the tiny text). It was one I made in January, answering the question, "What Do I Wish for This Year to Bring?" A lot of the things on this list seemed quite out of reach at the time.

Seeing it again, I marvel at the gifts God has given. The undeserved grace. Because the year isn't even over yet, but already most of what I "wished" for has come true in some (very awesome) small way.

It's just one more reminder of how good He is to me.

cut and paste

i remember loving paper dolls as a young(er) girl. i loved cutting out each accessory - that was my favorite part. i was ever so jealous of the job of guiding the scissors around each dress, each ruffle, each ribbon.

after all the outfits were cut out, i contented myself with dressing the paper dolls systematically in each of them. i would admire all the pretties even more because some part of their creation had been my handiwork.

now, i'm a not-so-little girl. and yet today i still found myself smiling as i picked out papers to make outfits for this furry pair. and i still find myself immensely pleased with a well dressed paper doll.

i guess some things never change. *smile*

Window Wonders

I love being able to look out the window while sitting at my desk. I see so many things. Well, maybe not things per se, but...beauty. That glimpse of the natural creation opens my eyes to see not only what is outside my window but also what is around me, and what is within me.

Do you know how amazing it is to see a humming bird whiz up to a branch level with your eyesight and settle? It folds its wings and sits. And it's tiny. A little speck I can barely see in the tree across the driveway. I only know it is there because I watched its flight and landing. I'm used to seeing humming birds in flight, when their whirring wings disguise how small and vulnerable they really are. To understand a different side of such a delicate and beautiful creature holds such a sense of wonder for me.

What message do you find in God's creation? What wonders have you seen recently? They're out there. I'm glad for my window to keep me looking.

little verse, big message

{arise}
from the depression
and prostration
in which circumstances have kept you -
{rise} to new life!
shine
(be {radiant} with the {glory} of the Lord),
for your {light} has come,
and the glory of the Lord
has risen upon you!

Isaiah 60:1 AMP

{her} room...a tour in the third person

Oh, look - the door is open! Do you think that's an invitation? I do. *smile* Let's go explore. But first, wait! Is that a new desk chair? It looks comfy (and good for the back), don't you think? I do, too.

Hmmm. The shelves are a bit bare. But maybe they're waiting for things like yummy bags of snacks she can grab on her way to school...and stacks of library books. Don't you love how the light floods her desk? It makes me want to sit down and find something to study, it's so inviting. You should see the drawers, all organized and full of everything she needs (including new pens - always a necessity!).

Look, she's going to tell us about one of her favorite parts: it's that caddy right by her bed. It's full of nice, settling things...her current book, Bible, hand lotion, knitting. All ready to go.

Oh, there's the other corner. A comfy place to read. Somehow that back wall doesn't seem so dark without her desk there. And now there's a long, wide space in front of the door where she can stretch (see the mat all ready to spread out?).

It looks like she sorted the books on her shelf and rearranged them - I bet she found some treasures doing that! And I know those bags and jackets have been hanging there for a while, but look how she went out of her way to include them in a picture. I think that means she likes them. *grin*

I think her room is ready for whatever comes in the next couple months. It will house her studies, her rest, her joys, and her struggles. It will let in the sunshine to wake her each morning. It's order (all those neat under-the-bed craft stashes) will make her smile. It will do. It will do quite well.

without words::sending love

without words::play

without words::cleanse

without words::rest

without words::truth