.words :: listening, and waiting.

i have some words that need to be said out loud. not necessarily for you. but for me. i need to hear myself say these things, i think, even though i'm not entirely sure what some of them are. i can feel them, waiting. waiting to be given a voice. so, will you listen? even though we're doing this december views thing, which is kind of all about the photos. see, i even have one (above) to prove my point. the nice thing about december views, though, is that there are no rules. (it says so in the explanation.) words, therefore, still count. i'm glad for that, and for you who so kindly listen. thanks for that. really.

something i've been thinking about in the past few days is a word for 2010. just one word. something that embodies my hopes and prayers for the year and anticipates the next steps in my journey. it's kind of like a goal, but better. it's an incentive, an inspiration.

i never had an official word for 2009. i had some ideas, but i never narrowed it down. as i've been contemplating words in these recent days, i didn't recall the exact ones i had put in my wordle, but i did look over my year. what struck me from the past twelve months was release. (inconsequently, this isn't one of the words i brainstormed a year ago.)

release, in the sense that a bird is loosed from its cage. released to fly freely. this time last year, i really didn't realize quite the extent to which i was bound by darkness (although i was beginning to). i suppose that ignorance was actually part of my prison. but now (thank God!) my soul is free. released to the fullness of my identity in Him. released to express that identity freely and openly, without fear.

release also came in the sense of learning to let go. because i'm someone who holds on by nature. with a death grip. and while holding in is all well and good, sometimes we just have to let go. and feel the release. that happened this year, too, in many ways.

so that was 2009. i don't know about 2010. it will be a busy year, full of new classes and (maybe, hopefully!) a trip to canada, and a brother (most probably!) joining me at college, and a crazy fall semester of practicum (the precursor to student teaching). 2010 definitely needs a word full of purpose, and i'm not yet sure what word that is. a few seeds of thought are beginning to swell, but they haven't quite sprouted. soon. they'll come soon. wait with me, would you?