30 days of summer :: day 5

i knew coming into this week that i was entering what would be the trickiest time of the summer. the big things (vacation, counseling at string camp) would be over, the absence of another year of school awaiting me would start to sink in, and all that would be left was the who knows what. don't we all cling to the concrete, the thing we can hold under our finger?

i think the knowing it was coming helped. it helped to not be afraid. to say, God will be there, too. present. with me.

and He is. even though i have no clue how just the next 7 days will (could/might/should) look, not to mention the months following. i kind of like it that way. (ahem. you know, as much as i could possibly like not knowing.) i think that if i could see where i will be in three, five, seven months, it could be too much for me to handle.

that's why God made me a finite being, bound to time and space. because even if my body could handle stretching through those boundaries, my mind and my heart and my faith couldn't.

so here i am, present in the not-knowing, and alive to God here in this moment.

maybe He likes it that way too.